Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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