i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
