Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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