WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
