I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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