Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
