Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
