things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
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