turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
