I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
