That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
