Christians are straight up FREAKS
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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