awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
