brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
