I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
