Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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