Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
