I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
