this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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