You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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