8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize