Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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