what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
