I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
