You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
