I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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