You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Ketchup is God's man juice
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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