You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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