Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize