Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
