She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize