Barsexuality is the new black.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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