I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
two words...techno handjob
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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