I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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