Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
