nut hugger
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
