would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I fill condoms, not promises.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
