Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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