Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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