question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
