the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
