were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
