whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
