he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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