look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
