ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
