Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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