You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize