you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We left the knife in your bed.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
