Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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