smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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