How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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