I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
