so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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