Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
