Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
