I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
