She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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