My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
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He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
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hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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