You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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