matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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