She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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