the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The feeling are messing with the penis
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
