it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
