first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
