the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
